if only in my dreams...

I'm drained. I've never put more effort into something to not see any results. For some reason i just couldn't get it. It's weird though, cause I really did find everything i was "learing" facinating. I actually didnt' mind listening in lecture or reading the book. I find our economny pretty fucking intersting but it looks like i just suck at understanding it. Maybe the problem was i had so little knowledge before the class...so everything was a huge shock when i learned it. Who knows. O well- it's water under one hell of a bridge now.

12.23.06

The library is empty. I could bring 10 labtops and have them all plugged in around me.


T- 45 min.



It's in God's hands now.

Me neither.

"I can't believe i have to spend another fucking day at the library tomorrow."
-Rachel

I know it's a wee bit rough...pero- En conclusion...

Cuando miraba Mar Adentro, pensaba que si una persona querría morir con la eutanasia, se debían tener el derecho. Era la decisión de la persona que querría morir y su decición solamente. No entendía porque había todos los debates sobre este concepto. Mientras leía el primer articulo, con todos los situaciones de la eutanasia, empezaba entender porque es polémico. Hay muchas preguntas que no tienen respuestas claras. ¿Quién tiene el derecho para decidir quién muere? ¿La madre de una niña que está en un coma? ¿El doctor de un enfermo que no se puede pensar? ¿El esposo de una mujer que se tiene dolor? ¿La persona que se quiere morir? Asimismo, cuándo es la eutanasia justo? ¿Cuándo es pasiva o activa? No hay una respuesta correcta para cada de las preguntas, y por consiguiente no hay una respuesta correcta de la eutanasia.

youth-in-asia crazy debate the more you read into it.

After two finals done and this damn paper i'm turning in tomorrow i'm done with 226~ on to 223 and 224 next semester... Hit me with your best shot. Fire away.

I am a FAN of christmas

Spread the love yo...

Better not pout, I'm telling you why...

I went for a run this afternoon, trying to give myself a reason not to be at the library. As the thoughts of school and my looming econ final left my mind, thoughts of my future briefly entered. I became nervous all of a sudden thinking about how I really have no idea what the heck I'm going to do with my majors. I know that a lot of students are unsure of what exactly they will be doing in the upcoming years, but it still makes me nervous...

In an attempt to gain some insight on what I'm going to do with my life...I started to think of things I really enjoy. I know that I can't go wrong if I end up doing something I love. I'll only be in trouble if I find myself a ways down the road in a career I "thought i should do," but never really had a connection to or a passion for.

As my mind wondered I found myself thinking about this past summer...oh how i miss the summer. Yes it was hot, sunny, i had a tan, and i wasn't taking classes, but the reason i miss it is because of my job.

Meet JayVian.

He is 4 years old and he has a twin sister JayLynn. Both are adorable and both are troublemakers. In the picture JayVian was pouting because he got tagged in Duck Duck Goose. He was mad at me because I made him sit in the middle. For nine weeks I had the pleasure of seeing JayVian everyday along with about 120 other awesome kids.

Most of these kids haven't entered school yet and this was their first time interacting with other children. For the summer we taught them games, we taught them crafts, how to wait their turn, how to lose, how to do a slip in slide, how to share, how to say thank you, how to wash a car with finger paint, how to say I'm sorry, how to swim in a pool full of noodles, how to win, how to be really really loud, and how to be very very quite.

Making a difference in a child's life is a pretty amazing thing. In a time when you are so Innocent, the people who surround you help shape who you become. If you will be honest, if you will be caring, if you will be just, if you will have an open heart... I think a lot of that has to do with who you grow up knowing. I know the people in my life since I was born have in so many ways contributed to who i am today.

I have no idea if I made a difference in JayVian's life, his childhood, his summer, his sportsmanship, or even how he played duck duck goose... but i would like to think that maybe I did.

How this ties into my future I have no idea... these thoughts are random and to be continued...like always.

new love- ben kweller

we've been in the rain
we've been on the mountain
we've been round the fire

in fancy hotels
drank water from farm wells
we sang with the choir

i kissed your dry lips
we jumped off the high cliffs
and splashed down below

skin to skin
in the salty river
made love in the shadow
woooah ooh

read books to each other
read the mind of the other
flew one thousand

we laughed and we cried
at movies and real life
in our ridiculous beds

we danced in the moonlight at midnight
we pressed against back doors and wooden floors
and you never faked it

and frequently
we ignored our love
but we could never mistake it
oooh ooh

we met on the front porch
fell in love on the phone
without the physical wreck

you gave me the necklace
that used to hang
around your mothers neck

we questioned religions
fed bread to the pigeons
we learned how to pray

we stood by the ocean
turned our hearts in to one
we laid in bed all day
heeey

we skipped on the sidewalk
skipped stones on the water
we skipped town

we've seen the sunrise with new eyes
we've seen the damage of gossip and true lies
we've seen the sun go down

had passionate makeouts
and passionate freakouts
we built this world of our own

it was in the back of a taxi
when you told me you loved me
and that i wasnt alone

it hurts

to stand up, to walk, or to think. I couldn't keep my lunch down, and I had cherrios for dinner. I'm pretty sure there was too many jello shots, peppermint something or anothers, and games of beer pong enjoyed last night~ which resulted in soaking wet jeans (?), missing high heels, and tears.

For some reason I tend to be a little dramatic and emotional when I drink. Okay- a lot dramatic and pretty flip'n emotional.

i might be the one

who needs a chill pill....I feel like everyone is really edgey lately...or it could be just me. Trying to juggle a million things at the moment. Trying to just keep moving and not drop the ball...

Gone??

Why can't i view any of my achieved posts??

no one is laughing

I'm not sure what urges some people to prank phone call their parents or friends parents in the middle of the night, but it's not cool. Dealing with a parent on the phone, who is in panic mode that their son or daughter is in danger or possibly dead, is one of the most emotional things that i've dealt with in a while.

What do you say when a stranger on the other end of the phone starts crying and confiding in you about their child?!?!

The first time it happened I cried.

The second time I was frightened.

Turns out both instances the ogg resident was perfectly fine, but with an accident in the news about one young freshman a few weeks ago... everyone is a little on edge i think...

wtf

3 weeks
2 papers
1 project
1 debate
5 exams


13 fucking credits...

oooooh

racine boys....

i laughed 2 years ago..and i laughed again when i saw it on utube.

not cool

Think of the last time you were terrified. I mean, stop breathing, tighten every muscle in your body, want to run for you life but can't move, terrified.

now think of having that same feeling twice in one night.

I said goodnight to my roomies last night at 11, as i try and get some sleep before an early sat morning start at 630am~ and they head out for a night on the town. My roommate grabbed pjs and put them in a different room saying that she wouldn't come in the room anymore when they got home from going out.

I awoke at 2am with a loud bang and person standing in the corner of my room. I litteraly thought it was an intruder.

freak out. find out its my roomate. she apologizes and said no one will come in anymore.fall back a sleep.

3am. door bursts open again. i jolt up and it's a guy.

panic.

it's my neighbor who thought my room was the bathroom.

I lay awake and stare at my clock for a good bit...afraid to go back to sleep.



maaaann. its 7am on a saturday and i'm at work. boo.