Igual que ayer...

i've been trying to put my finger on exactly what has been going on in my head lately but it's been rather difficult. So far in ecuador i've had a pretty sweet time. I'm just about halfway done, as i look back at my time so far- i fall in love with my pictures of all my weekend adventures i've had so far this semester. After going through a rough bout of some weird cultureshockish thing about 5 or so weeks ago i really got into the swing of things and began to feel once again weirdly at home here in quito- and i was happy once again.

Its different though, i didn't expect it to be anything like guatemala, but i was pretty sure that i would once again after a few months find myself just as deeply in love with the people, the food, the country side...in a different way than i did in guate, but just as much so. I guess i have fallen in love in some way shape or form- but it sure is different than before. To me its like comparing someone you fell in love with and it won't go away -and someone you met, and then knew for along time, and find yourself in a deep friendship that you think maybe it has turned into love but you might not be able to recognize it yet or are not ready to admit it.

Here i love where i live, i love traveling on the weekends, i enjoy my classes...but for some reason i'm not identifying or connecting with the place as i did in guate and i dont' know why exactly. Somethings i do know... i know that in guatemala i felt incredibly independent. I didn't identify myself with part of a group. I moved living situations on a whim. I loved my job. I loved teaching. I learned from my students. I really made deep friendships and i think it all transfered over into my feelings about the place. I began to have deep feelings about the culture and identified with living there.

In Ecuador it's different. I have had amazing experiences. I have done really cool things i never would have thought i'd do. I have met pretty neat people. But there are somethings missing- Even though i travel a lot, for some reason i'm not getting that connection or feeling of how i identify with the place. It's like i'm passing through all the time. I feel part of this large mass that comes and goes, comes and goes, comes and goes.